The Corona Diaries

The Corona Diaries Week 8: Normality

These weeks are escaping me faster than I can even realise what day it is! Week 8 of lockdown has been and gone before I even blinked, and not too much really happened.

When I read other peoples’ blogs, my favourites are the ones that are a bit normal, ie they’re just posting about their day-to-day lives. I don’t know what it is, but I love seeing insight into other peoples’ lives and I find that it provides me some comfort and solace that I didn’t know I was looking for. I think that’s what I kind of hope for these posts, and fortunately I’ve had feedback that they’re serving this way for some people, so I’m glad about that!

Rationality vs Emotion

I started off this week still a bit angry after Bozza’s ‘major announcement’ on Sunday evening. He kept us waiting until 7pm on Sunday, expecting some huge change for lockdown measures, just to tell us the usual murky drivel. I’m sure it benefitted some people, but it didn’t do anything for me whatsoever. It took some journalling and self-reflection to realise that I was angry because I was frustrated. I was frustrated because even though I don’t think lockdown should be lifted just yet, I really thought, and secretly hoped he was going to say we’d be allowed to go between houses – in which case I’d be home to Liverpool to see my family in a heartbeat. It’s irrational because being so afraid of a second wave, I don’t even think it’s the right decision, but when you are missing people you adore so much, rationality kind of goes out the window. It’s crazy to me that I still haven’t seen my Mum since she’s had this virus, and it’s the longest in my life (aside from when I lived abroad) that I haven’t seen my family. 

I found myself feeling so angry towards everyone who isn’t following the rules, then being angry at myself for doing so. The mentality of ‘why should I follow the rules when nobody else is’ took hold, and it took a lot of reminding from friends and followers on my new professional Twitter account to remind me that a lot of people are following the rules. I’m not an idiot, I know there’ll always be people who don’t because that’s just life, so I don’t know why I waste my energy getting wound up by it. Anyway, I am continuing to apply the ethos ‘how do you want to remember yourself in lockdown’ and that is being a decent human being and not contributing to anybody’s death. I allowed myself to feel and sit with the emotions, and I soon got out of my mood.

Past vs Present

So following a not-so-great start to the week, things picked up a little and it’s been a really busy week. I’ve got a lot of work coming through now from my part-time writing job, so am juggling my main job with various writing deadlines. I don’t think I’ve felt this happy doing work in a long time, and it’s verified my goal to stop being miserable at work and slowly transition towards a career in freelance writing. Exciting times!

10 years ago when I lived in Seville, James introduced me to the hit TV series ‘Lost‘ the first time he came to visit. We would spend days in his family’s apartment on the south coast of Spain just binge-watching it, and those times are still some of my favourite memories to date. We started watching it again this week and it has provided me with the most unexpected happiness during lockdown! I still think it’s the best TV series I’ve ever watched, but I forgot just how much I adored it until I’m now watching it again. It’s a long road ahead because there’s a ridiculous amount of seasons and episodes, but I’m excited to be watching. One thing I’m noticing when I’m watching TV at the minute is whenever somebody touches somebody else, my immediate reaction is ‘Oh my god you can’t touch each other!’. One of my best friends told me this week she’s also finding herself doing the same – it’s funny what Coronavirus does to our minds.

Our honeymoon is now postponed to December, but I’m expecting that we’ll have to push it back again. Our 1 year wedding anniversary is less than a month away, and whilst we’re gutted to not be having our honeymoon, I’m grateful that we are not having to rearrange an entire wedding, and that we are spending lockdown together. Craving travel, but admittedly without a hope in hell, we submitted an application for Race Across the World Season 3. We had such a laugh submitting the application and even though it’s highly unlikely we’ll get picked, it was worth doing for the hour of hilarity it gave us.

Light to Your Day

I’m going to leave you with a wonderful video I saw this week. It actually made me cry, which was quite unexpected (but not surprising – I do cry at pretty much anything afterall). It is such a beautiful video and whilst there’s loads of stuff like this out there, this one seemed to resonate more, likely given the circumstances in which we’re currently living. It was beautiful and made me excited to be able to hug and touch people again. I really think that people who do things like this are so special and really bring light into the world. I hope they realise just how much of an effect they have on people.

So that’s it from me this week! I hope you have a good week ahead, wherever you are in the world. One thing that amazes me is the range of countries that my blog reaches (which I can see through analytics – not just because I’m overly sure of myself!), and I often wonder what lockdown looks like in all these countries. If you’re reading this, I’d love to hear what lockdown life (if there even is a lockdown) is like for you! Please do feel free to comment! 

See you next week!

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