I’m back from beautiful Spain, and I feel somewhat perplexed this week. Part of me doesn’t feel much like writing, but the other half of me knows that writing is my therapy and getting it out helps me make sense of everything going on in my mind.
There are a lot of people around me who are suffering right now, and a phrase that keeps popping into my head is “when it rains, it pours”. Why is it that when things go wrong, they go terribly wrong? Why can’t one thing go a little wrong but not catastrophically so? There is so much going wrong right now that it feels difficult to contend with. The whole “bad luck comes in threes” is great and all, but what happens when it comes in 10s?
There’s no dressing it up, this last week has been pretty shit. So many people close to me, who I love dearly, are suffering – it feels like there is a lot of darkness surrounding us right now and it seems to be neverending. Obviously, it is not my business to share these things, but I’m struggling because the people who are suffering around me are some of the people I love most in the world, so to know they are in pain (both physically and figuratively) brings me pain, and I just wish there were something I could do (and in the circumstances, there isn’t – other than support them). Why do terrible things happen to good people?
I am always amazed and inspired by people’s abilities to deal with the crap that’s thrown at them. The people around me who I love so much are all dealing with so many awful things right now, and all of them are getting up each day and facing the day, even when they don’t feel they can. So if you’re one of them – and even if you’re not but you are facing your own issues – I’m so proud of you and I’m sending you so much love and light and hope that things start to look up for you soon.
I’m sorry to lower the tone, but I vowed that I would always be authentic on my blog and I’m not going to sugarcoat a shit. But I do have some brilliant recommendations for you, so now I’ve got the serious stuff out of the way, let’s move on to brighter pastures!
The Midnight Library by Matt Haig
Oh my GOD I wrote about this last week having only just started it (I was literally about 10 pages in when I wrote last week’s post) and I finished the book that night. I sat on the balcony in Spain, wrapped in a blanket because it was chilly, and read the book until 1am. It was BLISS. That balcony is one of my favourite places on the entire planet. Anyway, I digress.
This book was absolutely BRILLIANT. I honestly LOVED it. I spoke to my friend about it who is an avid reader – moreso than me! And she had already read the book but found it didn’t really affect her and it was overhyped. I actually hadn’t heard of this book so thankfully I’ve missed out on the hype (I really hate overhyped books) but I found this book really affected me nonetheless.
Matt Haig has an astounding ability to portray depression in a way that is honest, raw, and entirely relatable. This shone through this book. I believe his other book ‘Reasons to Stay Alive’ documented his own experience with the illness, and I think I’ll read this at some point because I really liked his way of portraying exactly what it is like.
I tend to go more into detail about books on my Instagram page (click the link) but what I will say here is that this was a brilliant book and I truly devoured it. I LOVE books that open my mind and make me really think about things, and this book did exactly that. I have always felt that I am torn between two lives – the life I live here in Manchester with my husband and my dog, and the life that would have been if it were not for choosing my husband, living in Spain doing god knows what. This book helped me to see that the grass isn’t always greener and almost gave me the ability to live out various “what if” lives without actually doing so.
I would thoroughly recommend this book!
I haven’t really watched much TV in the last week as the minute I landed home from Spain I was busy with seeing family and working in the wine bar. But I needed a mental break yesterday lunchtime and wanted something to watch whilst I was eating, and I remembered my Mum on holiday telling me about ‘Motherland’, which I’m sure my best friend also told me about some time ago.
I watched the first episode and found myself laughing out loud. It is honestly so ridiculous and stupid, but so funny at the same time. Like laugh out loud funny. I really enjoyed the first episode.
Ludovico Einaudi is without a shadow of a doubt, one of my favourite composers on the planet. He is my go-to, along with Max Richter, when I want to calm down or when I’m journalling or want some quiet time as I’m winding down for bed. There are SO many songs that I adore, and this actually isn’t my favourite, but for some reason Alexa has been messed up this week and isn’t doing what I ask her, and whenever I ask her to play me Ludovico Einaudi she starts with this (yes I’m aware I’m giving a pronoun to an AI). But there is just something about this beautiful piece that makes you stop and pause, listen, and feel emotional. It evokes a whole host of emotions for me, perhaps moreso at present because I am feeling delicate and a bit sad, but there is no denying that it is beautiful.
Even if you’re not into “classical” music, give it a listen. You’ll probably already know but just in case you don’t, Ludovico Einaudi is a modern-day composer so I’m not sure if his work falls under the “traditional” classical category which might put a few off, his work is truly stunning. It’s mainstream classical, but there is no denying its grandure.
Before You Go…
I had the most beautiful time away in Spain – I worked the whole time I was there but that didn’t matter because a) I love my work and b) I got to take beach breaks with my family. My family live in Liverpool and I live in Manchester, so we don’t always get to see each other very often. I really value the time I get to spend with them, and in Spain moreso because it’s my favourite place!
Here’s a reel (because I also love travel reels) of my latest trip. My aim for 2022 is to improve my social media skills and actually make GOOD reels!!!
Sending so much love and light to those who need it, and I’ll see you next week!