Well, well, well. We’re back again. Lockdown 2.0. How are we all doing?
In advance of writing this post, I re-read all 12 posts of the previous series (which you can find here) and I have to say, I think I was perhaps a little naive to think that the second half of 2020 would be better than the first. In the first lockdown, I recall thinking we’d be semi-back to normal by now. Hell, I even still thought we’d be going on our honeymoon next month (don’t worry – I’ve long-since admitted defeat and stopped clinging to that pipe dream now!)
So yesterday was the first official day back in lockdown (for those of us in the UK, anyway), and it feels a little different to the first time around. I’m not sure whether that’s because my personal circumstances have changed or whether we’re already used to virus ruling our lives for the last six months, but we kind of just know where we’re at this time, don’t we?
I’m in an incredibly fortunate position and I count my blessings daily for my health and the health of my loved ones. I know that this virus has affected the lives of so many people, and many people haven’t made it through. Even though many people take the mick out of me for saying ‘love and light’, I am still sending it to anybody who needs it!
So has anything changed?
Well, my circumstances have. I spent the first lockdown in a completely different job and spent those early days trying to repatriate students from across the world, taking abuse from parents, guardians, students and just about anybody else who managed to get through to us on the phone or email. Yesterday, my day was spent trying to teach myself a whole host of business skills to try and get my business off the ground in an attempt to generate some form of income during lockdown. I know which one I prefer! (Hint: it’s not receiving endless abuse for something beyond my control).
I feel less afraid of the virus than I did the first time around, which is good I guess. Maybe it’s because I’m tired of hearing about it now, maybe it’s because it’s been around for so long that I’m just used to it? Who knows? Don’t get me wrong, I’m still adhering to the rules and fearful of myself and other people contracting it, but there’s just not that same sense of panic that I, personally, felt the first time around.
One thing I find interesting is that I’m missing general life a whole lot more lately. I’m missing going out with friends, dressing up nice, going to gigs and festivals, travelling abroad and just living in a world where you’re not constantly having to worry about the virus. That’s natural, I’m sure. We’ve had almost a year of no normality and it’s getting to a lot of people now, but I didn’t feel this the first time around. But then why would I, it was all new and unprecedented! Of course, I count my blessings every day that craving normal life is my biggest worry now, and I still have loved ones with me. But I will remember this feeling forever and doubly appreciate the next time I can go to a gig, have drinks with friends etc.
What hasn’t changed?
I still feel desperately sad for people who are isolating and the devastating effects this pandemic has had upon people’s wellbeing. There has been incomprehensible amounts of trauma this year and it is overwhelming to think about how many people are suffering. I wish I could help all of them.
Aside from caring about vulnerable people, I’ve unfortunately developed a real jadedness towards people generally through this whole pandemic, and it’s not like me at all. As much as I try to focus solely on the wonderful people and the wonderful things those people are doing (of which I know there are many), for some reason I just can’t seem to get past the bad stuff without becoming frustrated. I’m fully aware that it is social media fuelling this disdain, so I think I’m going to put myself on another ‘no scrolling, only posting’ social media ban next week. That’ll help!
If you’re wondering what the hell I’m banging on about, it’s this. How is it that the world spends the best part of an entire year in a pandemic, and people are still stockpiling toilet roll and pasta the minute another lockdown is announced? How is it that even with all the ‘Be Kind’ and ‘Mental Health Matters’ movements, people are still constantly arguing with each other online?
I feel like all I see on social media nowadays is conspiracy theories about the virus, people arguing because they can’t believe (shock horror) that some people would vote against Donald Trump, people arguing about who’s to blame for the country going back into lockdown, whether fireworks should be banned or whether teachers should get discount in supermarkets at this time. Jesus christ – when did we become so fucking argumentative?! Why can’t people just keep their mean thoughts and opinions to themselves? Yes, I appreciate the irony, especially because all I do right now is scroll through things and respond to most of it with an eyeroll and a proclamation of the term ‘idiot’, but at least I keep it contained!
I just really struggle sometimes, and it’s not the circumstances that are the problem for me, it’s the people. Someone get me my crystals and lavender candles – I’m in need of some zen!
Aside from my endless ranting about the state of the world right now, I’ve also been contemplating a few other things related to this second lockdown, and as my blog is an extension of my brain, I thought I’d share some:
- Will there be a third/fourth/fifth wave? Will we just lockdown every time there’s an increase in cases?
- Will this all only end when there’s a vaccine?
- What if the numbers are actually being hyped up as the conspiracy theorists suggest?
- Would people trust and accept a vaccine if it were offered to them?
- Will Reddish Vale be full of people again in this lockdown or do people not like to go out in cold/rain?
- Will people struggle more because this lockdown is in the cold and gloom as opposed to the first one which had glorious weather?
- Will I struggle with a lack of full-time work during this lockdown?
- What is the right way to deal with this pandemic? Keep locking down or try to regain a sense of normality?
- Is there anybody out there who thinks Bozza’s doing a good job?
- Is anybody else feeling how I’m feeling?
- Will people struggle more or less this time because they know what to expect?
- Are people more or less likely to follow the rules this time around?
- What do older people make of this pandemic? Are they happy to still venture out or do they feel safer at home?
- Will this lockdown feel more difficult than the first?
- Will it actually end on 2nd December?
- Will there be a ‘fuck it’ attitude where all the rules go out the window and everybody can mix and have a normal Christmas period?
Ha! Can you tell by that last one what I’m hoping for? As always, opinions and answers welcome.
Oh and before I go. I watched an episode of the second series of Unsolved Mysteries last night – ‘Tsunami Spirits’. It really helped put things into perspective and get me out of my ‘I hate everybody’ funk. Sometimes it’s just really helpful to gets out of my own head! It was a great episode, if you fancy watching it.
Sending you you nice thoughts!